May 10, 2006
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships

excerpted from the introduction to:
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, by John Welwood.

The Mood of Unlove

There are hundreds of books on the market that offer relationship fixes in one form or another. Some of these techniques can be quite helpful. Yet at some point, most technical fixes turn out to be patches that fall off, for they fail to address what lies at the root of all interpersonal conflict and misunderstanding -- whether between marital partners, family members, friends, fellow workers, or different ethnic groups in the world at large. All the most intractable problems in human relationships can be traced back to what I call the mood of unlove -- a deep seated suspicion most of us harbor within ourselves that we cannot be loved, or that we are not truly loveable, just for who we are. This basic insecurity makes it hard to trust in ourselves, in other people, or in life itself.

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Vinessa • 08:56 PM •

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